One thing that people do make a mistake of is to think that Klaus was at all like a porn star. He was a lovely man and not like a lothario. Having said this, he did at all times have an eye for ladies and was drawn to them as they were drawn to him. But rather than just being sexy with any ladies, he was also so romantic and wished to marry any woman who caught his eyes.

So first was his wife Nerys Stokes. Nerys was a dancer at the Soho nightspot, Club Nefertiti (owned by Hans Orff, assumed by many to be Klaus's real father). Godfrey Gilliam writes:

"He worried his friends by becoming embroiled in a passionate affair with Nerys Stokes, one of the club's dancers. Nerys's weak grip on reality made it difficult to have any form of relationship with her. Klaus was not, however, in a stable state of mind himself. Nerys egged Klaus on, pushing him to throw inappropriate songs and jokes into the club's stage act. Orff was eventually forced to dismiss Klaus after he refused to sing Edelweiss to Harry 'Mad Hat' Hurley of Bethnal Green, one of London's most notorious suppliers of meat and fish."

This was ill fated, however, and the rock'n'roll lifestyle took its toll on this union as Klaus's band, Kinky Roosevelt, hit stratospheric heights and the group's lead guitarist Dave Partridge stole Nerys from him:

"Dave Partridge had slipped into the abyss of the fantastical and made the public announcement that he was in fact King Herod. Added to this, he had for months been having an affair with Klaus's much oft-neglected bride, Nerys (now known as Salome)."

We are not surewhat happened with this marriage - maybe they did become divorced because Klaus fell in love and married again during the making of Die Grosse Brustwarze Karnival in 1970.

"It was on the set of Wundercrotchen that Klaus met Claudia Piffenhole, a sweet-hearted nineteen-year-old former fashion model and one-time lesbian call girl. Klaus would visit the shoots daily to absorb the action and admire Claudia's acrobatic, contortionistic performances. Soon they were in love and a little later, on 21st January 1971, Klaus's thirtieth birthday, they were married. A month later Helmut, Klaus's first son was, born."

This too did not last forever. Klaus had his head turned by big time success and was living it up in his 'lost fortnight' with James Last and Brian Eno. This had bad affects on this marriage.

"Claudia and Helmut had reason to feel abandoned and on January 21st 1975, Klaus's thirty-fourth birthday, she moved out never to return. Helmut was left behind, confused and tear stained. However, Klaus rose to the challenge and reared him solo, performing the duties of any earnest mother, including the task of breast feeding the four-year-old."

But the sun did shine again on Klaus and his love and he met the beautiful and crazy Theda Wetzel during the making of Who Needs Dialogue? (1975)

"The leading lady, Theda Wetzel, proved a great asset to the film, and Klaus in particular found the young actress delightful with her long auburn fingernails, brown skin and curly hair. She awoke feelings of youth and joy in the composer and they fell in love. They married in January 1976."
Sadly this did not last.

"Life in the Harmony camp was initially idyllic, the newlyweds doting on the playful Helmut, but soon Theda became restless and volatile, her sweet-natured cooing giving way to a gruff-mannered yap. She started to accuse Klaus of annoying her; in time her verbal remonstrations expanded into physical-style rebukes, alienating Klaus and alarming the boy. Klaus tried to turn a blind eye [his left one] to her rough cankerousness but within months her temper had become unmanageable - one night she shaved off half his prized moustache as he slept. Once embarrassed to seek help, he now found himself unable to ignore the problem after waking to discover her attempting to amputate his right leg with a pneumatic drill. Within a year of marriage their once flourishing romance had all but wasted to an atrophied husk of its former constitution and he tearfully ordered her to leave the fold. After reaching a financial settlement of $200,000 and a mink coat, she agreed to go. On January 21st 1977, Klaus's thirty-sixth birthday, Theda Wetzel, his third wife, left never to return. Klaus Harmony was, apart from his son, alone again."

A massive breakthrough did come in 1977 with the movie The Ladies Man which gained Klaus and Friedrich Wohlfäht commercial and critical success. Also Klaus met one of his greatest loves of all. This was to be Lola Schlipp.

"Lola was altogether more experienced, having appeared in countless films already, including the inexplicably popular Chip Jenssen farce, Tits and Bits. She knew the moves almost before Wohlfäht called them and made easy work of the shooting schedule. She arrived on time, knew her lines, took almost no drugs and had an independent, worldly quality. Klaus found himself falling in love with her and before shooting had finished they were married."

But the unthinkable happened. At the same time as all this happiness there was a sadness so big looming on the corner.

"On January 21st 1979 Lola boarded a charter flight to Milan with Otto Dieskau, Friedrich Wohlfäht's First Cameraman and Sound Recordist. They were to film a promotional trailer for the upcoming release of The Ladies Man in Italy. Twenty minutes into the flight Lola began to complain of severe chest pains and Otto Dieskau frantically massaged her heaving thorax in an effort to relieve her agony. Without warning the small aircraft was ripped apart by an explosion which could be heard for miles around as the silicone implants in Lola's chest erupted, the changing pressure in the cabin too much for the counterfeit bust to withstand. The master reels of The Ladies Man were destroyed, lost somewhere over Austria, as were Schlipp and Dieskau."

It is impossible to know how Klaus could have recovered from this. We he knew him at the time believed his life would be destroyed. But no. It was just beginning afresh again.

"After a few months of grief, Friedrich Wohlfäht approached Klaus for the permission to make a biopic of the much-mourned actress. (Killer Tits) Klaus found the idea difficult to contemplate - how could any film do justice to the beautiful, classy erotic actress lady that had been his fourth wife? Friedrich assured him that the film would be highly tasteful, artistic and would portray Lola as intelligent, soft-hearted, money-minded, compassionate and gorgeous...

...With Klaus as senior consultant, Friedrich set about writing the screenplay which was truthful to the last detail with the exception of a lengthy mud wrestling sequence. A romantic score was written which included the heart rending track Shave and Shine. The casting of the leading lady was naturally of paramount importance and for that role Wohlfäht found Suzanne Watkins-Rob, an English girl looking to pay for her studies in Holland. In a certain light the resemblance was uncanny and crew members had to do double takes on the set, believing that they were in the presence of the late star herself. The film was completed and made close friends of Suzanne Watkins-Rob and Klaus, who found solace in her young beauty and striking similarity to his previous wife. Suzanne suggested marriage to Klaus, having fallen deeply in love with him. However the composer still pined for Lola and explained that he did not feel ready for a new relationship - if indeed he could love again at all. The young actress vowed to wait despite his reticence, and her patience paid off. Klaus agreed to marry her two weeks after her proposal."

And so, you can see how much of a romantic Klaus was. Often I think he was abused a little by his women but they made him happy. Now I must find the money from sales of his music to pay for Suzanne's second swimming pool in Brentwood (Essex not California)

Tomorrow Helmut needs a wash and I must fly to Amsterdam for this. He did not want to stay in England after his disastrous driving lesson at Stanstead.

Peace

Jan Sink